Ten Reasons That I Am Happy This Interminable Fucking Winter Is Over
1) All of my wool sweaters are starting to pill.
2) I have no money to buy new sweaters because I've had next to no work and unemployment doesn't allow for a budget that includes the occasional trip to Anthropologie. (Or eating, really, but that's another story).
3) I don't want to get desperate enough to have to work in episodic.
4) I'm sick of having to wear so many layers when I do work (cotton socks wool socks snow boots long johns jeans snow pants t-shirt long-sleeved shirt wool sweater fleece jacket outer jacket scarf hat gloves that aren't warm enough) that my appendages are immobile. It's especially hard to boom when you can't turn your head.
5) How am I supposed to maintain my reputation as a glamour girl if my nails keep breaking? And having the skin on my nose flake off doesn't exactly help.
6) I miss going to the Red Hook pool and getting fresh ceviche at the soccer fields afterwards, then heading up to that place with the snotty French waiters, sitting in the backyard eating mussels and drinking white wine while watching hipsters play boules. Cuz BROOKLYN ROCKS, only it kinda rocks less when you don't want to leave your apartment.
7) I hate it when my hair freezes.
8) I've already lost one black glove and one brown glove so now I have to wear one of each. Again, this lack of color coordination is messing with my image. (GLAM GLAM, GO GLAM!)
9) I'm so pale I glow in the dark. Which could have its advantages in certain situations. But those are situations I'd rather avoid...
10) I hate living in fear of getting called to work a night exterior, knowing I would have to say "yes." (I still live in fear of that, but at least now I don't have to worry about frostbite! Yay!)