A Few Fun Facts About South America

A. Bolivia
1) Llamas are plentiful, and cute. And tasty, although a bit chewy.
2) Coca tastes like tea leaves. If you try it, be prepared to pull masticated green stuff of your teeth for hours.
3) Bolivia lost its coast to Chile in a border war. Don't talk about Chile in Bolivia.
4) If you have to go from 2700 to 4500 meters in one day (and you probably will at some point), take it slow.
5) There is a good chance that you will be woken up in the middle of the night by a sheep bah-ing outside your window, even if the best hotel in town.

B. Peru
1) Alpaca tastes better than llama. Mmm, alpaca...
2) You can buy pretty much anything here (hats, scarves, blankets, t-shirts, sweaters, postcards, notebooks, mugs, belts, keychains, centerpieces, etc etc etc) with a llama on it. Or an alpaca.
3) Despite the fact that the Incas were little people, the steps on their trail are fucking huge.
4) Peruvians say they originated Pisco in the city of Pisco, Peru.
5) The Inca flag looks an awful lot like the gay pride flag, which probably isn't something the Incas anticipated.

C. Chile
1) Chileans say that they originated Pisco, in the city of Pisco, Chile.
2) Peruvian Pisco Sours are better. Don't say this in Chile.
3) Chileans are wine snobs. They have the best boxed wine around, but they refuse to drink it.
4) There is excellent sushi in Chile. Only it doesn't look or taste like sushi, and everything is called "Kana" something, or something something "California roll."
5) Chileans hate Argentinians because they had a border war, and because they think Argentinians think they're hot shit.

D) Argentina
1) Argentinians do think they're hot shit.
2) Argentina does have the best steak, empanadas, chocolate, fashion, and nightlife in the region, so this is understandable.
3) It's more difficult to have dinner in Buenos Aires before 9 pm than after 1 am.
4) It's impossible to walk around Buenos Aires for a day without seeing one or two women who have been surgically enhanced. (I also hear the Botox is very cheap.)
5) Don't talk about the Falklands War, especially if you're British.